Talking to Muslims: Dos and Don'ts [Reaching Muslims, pt. 3/3]

David, BJU Alumnus

Twenty-eight years ago, I moved from BJU–Brokenshire to a Muslim-majority country. I remember my first evenings here. At dusk I would climb onto the roof of an orphanage and hear the muezzins wailing out their calls to prayer. Since then I’ve heard that call some 40,000 times, but by the grace of God it still brings a lump to my throat. The first line of the call says, “Allah is great,” but it is the fifth line that grips me deeply: “Hasten to the salvation!” This saddens me as I consider how many are running to the wrong prophet, but it gives me hope to think about Our Loving Salvation’s finding those who seek Him, even if they are currently hastening to the wrong direction, knowing not Whom they really need.

As I write this in my study, I count some thirty-some books about Islam on my bookshelves (these are just the ones I’ve decided to keep). I’ve read the Quran, many of the hadith, and histories of the world from an Islamic perspective. I’ve studied Sufism and observed howling dervishes in their tekkes (dizzying stuff!). To learn more about Islam, I prefer going to their bookstores, not ours.
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Beyond my research, I’ve talked to and shared the Gospel with countless Muslims, mystics, and scholars—even former Guantanamo Bay detainees and a few confirmed terrorists. I don’t consider myself an expert on Islam, but I was happy for the invitation to write on this theme—the dos and don’ts of talking to Muslims. I hope it helps:

1. Do talk to Muslims (duh!). I mean, really, why not this week?
2. Don’t worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. Be sincere, sensitive, and filled with the Spirit, and God will use you.
3. This may sound counter-intuitive, but don’t feel like you have to get right into a Gospel presentation. Yes, you will at some point, and God will lead you there (super)naturally; but I have heard the testimonies of more converts from Islam who were impacted by a devout, “low pressure” Christian who loved them sincerely, than by a fiery debater who could answer all their objections with aplomb.
4. Do pray for them as you interact. You might be the first Christian ever to be praying for them specifically by face and by name.
5. Do tell them you are a devout Christian and that you pray every day. Ask them if there is anything you can pray for them about. You can even pray with them. Kneel or pray prostrate, and thus shatter any preconceived notions that Muslims are the only ones who reverence God sufficiently.
6. Do treat your Bible with utmost respect—always—but especially in their presence.
7. Don’t discuss politics. Just don’t. If it happens, and if incendiary things are said to you, remember that a soft answer turns away wrath. They may be testing you.
8. The love of God is palpably absent in their dogma, so do love on them actively. Many Muslim-background believers testify that God’s love in His people was the light that drew them. Don’t just love them in hopes you can convert them. Love them because God is love and we are called to love without strings attached.
9. Don’t prepare yourself theologically before interacting with them. This is not a typo! Yes, I am the guy with thirty books on my shelves, and I am begging you to just go talk to Muslims. I think it is better to talk to thirty Muslims before reading books about them. After all these years, I still don’t feel adequately prepared in apologetics. That feeling may never come. It is OK. Talk to Muslims now.
10. If you’ve already studied Islam, don’t assume that all Muslims believe what you’ve been told they believe. Once I told a guy, “I know you don’t believe Jesus was crucified, but …”. He interrupted, “Yes we do!”. I argued back, “Well, actually, your Quran says Jesus was not crucified, and most Islamic scholars believe Judas was substituted in his place.” As the words so “eruditely” wafted from my mouth, I think I felt the Holy Spirit kicking me, whispering with His sweet small voice, “Dear child, have you lost your mind? Are you trying to talk him out of believing on me?!”  The guy replied again, “Of course Jesus was crucified, didn’t you see the film on TV last week?!” Do you get my point here? Don’t rely on your education so much that you forget that you are talking to an individual who has his own unique worldview! Discover his or her beliefs. Which brings me to this:
11. Do ask questions and listen to their answers. I find that listening is more fruitful than talking, especially in the beginning. It is hard for me to lead someone from Point A to Point B if I have no idea where Point A is. Ask questions about themselves and their families. Are they from another country? Ask them about it! Their favorite foods, their culture, etc. Eventually and intentionally, ask questions about their faith. Remember that “a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” So use questions. Jesus did often. What about sin? What about the promise of eternal life? Ask about how God can be both just and merciful at the same time. (Spoiler alert: they have no solution on that point—but we do; see Romans 3:21-26). By asking questions, they often realize they don’t have an answer, and ask, “Well what do you Christians believe about that?” To which you reply, “Oh, how nice that you asked …”.
12. Don’t unnecessarily generate heat! Offer them light. For example, is the Allah of the Quran the God of the Bible? Of course not. But I have never seen fruit when Christians accuse Muslims of worshipping a false god. Why go there?
13. In all your loving, talking, and acts of kindness, do not avoid discussing deeper theology or fear losing the friendship. The identity of Christ, His death, and His resurrection are the core points of debate, and we must go there at some point. As early as possible in my interactions, I sow this seed, a question: “God is sovereign! I think He can do anything He wants--anything!--to show His great wisdom and power. Do you agree?” No Muslim has ever told me no. Later, if they tell you “God cannot become a man,” you may recall that they agreed with you previously that God really can do anything.
14. Do be careful with your terminology. If you say “white” and they hear “black,” will it help? This is why it is so important to listen to their theological language and understanding. For example, many Muslims believe that “the Son of God” is our erroneous idea that God had sexual relations with Mary and created Jesus. So when a Muslim asks me, “Do you believe Jesus is the Son of God,” I usually answer, “I do NOT believe God had sexual relations with a woman …” By so doing, I keep myself in the conversation instead of being written off immediately as a blasphemer, like a plane shot down on the runway. Simultaneously, I challenge the stereotype he was conditioned to believe and create a window to explain what our Holy Book does teach about the deity of Christ.
15. Do prepare to begin loving Muslim people more and to feel your burden for them grow.
16. Finally, do remember that God loves Muslims more than we do. He is drawing them to Himself—even now. Remember that no mistakes we make—not even our failures to explain the Gospel clearly or to answer their objections capably—are so grave that the person will be lost on our account. God can even use our gaffes as instruments of His grace, because He is GREAT. I am reminded of this as least five times every day of my life.